I know that I posted in my only blog from Haiti that I was feeling uninspired to write anything..well as I am 35000 feet above the ocean my mind is racing…racing with thoughts and ideas I want to share, victories I want you to know about, dilemmas that are floating around in me…maybe I should catalogue them before I start but I know that they will return to me as they are needed….
Today I found myself sitting in the airport waiting to leave Haiti, many thoughts going through my head when a small group of business men started to chat me up. It turns out that they were a group of developers who had come to Haiti to pitch a development project. They were supposed to be attending a conference set up by a group of expats for the redevelopment of Haiti. Now I say “were supposed to be” because as it turns out the conference had started this morning and they were already leaving….they had had it with Haiti they told me, had it with the lies and as one in the group put it “that’s where the adjectives will end before I become too, well let’s just say more descriptive”. As it turns out they had had somewhat of a “Haitian experience” in the 3 whole days they had been there. They had experienced behaviors that permeate Haitian culture (behaviors that were unbeknownst to me prior to my first visit to the country)… non-truths, mistrust, secrecy, events occurring on Haitian time or not at all…
As I(yes me…?) tried to talk to them about the utopia of redevelopment they were seeking not existing in any nation requiring redevelopment they basically expressed their disgust and contempt for the people “not wanting their help”. Business as usual I guess depends on your usual?!
The reason I tell you all this is because it really got me thinking…was it all helpless? Is the nation of Haiti a lost cause? Should I just turn my back..walk away back to the peace and serenity of my life in Canada? Until January 12 Haiti didn’t really even exist for me…it could be easy to walk away right? I mean really if you look at it it really is hopeless…things will never change…Right!?
Wrong….because for me life isn’t as easy as changing my return flight so I can make it back in time to watch game 4 of the Lakers/Celtics series… because it will never be that easy for little Rose to find shelter from the rain or little Emmanuals mom to forget about the 3 children that are still buried under the rubble of her home, unable to dig them out, give them a proper burial and have some closure or easy for Rosemon to live his life without his parents and not feel like a burden on his aging grandma and I could go on…
So for a millisecond I thought about walking away..saying “sorry Haiti but you’ve got this one, let me know how it turns out. I’ll be watching….” A millisecond where the frustrations of dealing with a culture new to me would have been easy to walk away from, where the potential to have my heart broken is huge, where my guilt for a life easily lived could be too strong…but and this is a big but I (and you along with me) CAN make a difference..it may be small and it may only affect a few people but the journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step. And that’s a step that I am willing to take…
And because to me sometimes life isn’t about walking away just because you don’t understand or agree with the way things are done or because things seem hopeless…To me that’s when life gets good..when it get to be worth living..if I can make just one person’s life different, if I can just help ease the suffering of one person then its worth all that goes along with it!
I guess in all fairness the development guys are talking about larger steps and I think it’s the small bits of hope that were lost on them...so I guess it just wasn't business as usual...oh well I think eventually Haiti will do just fine with us and not the development guys..but that's just me!
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